AP - Upset that his 7-year-old son wouldn't wear a Green Bay Packers jersey during the team's playoff victory Saturday, a man restrained the boy for an hour with tape and taped the jersey onto him.

AP - A $469,000 payroll error has earned an Illinois man a date with police. Anthony Armatys of Palatine, Ill., was arrested Wednesday on theft charges after allegedly receiving electronic payroll bank deposits from a New Jersey company he never worked for, authorities said.

AP - Tickets for expired car registration usually don't result in jail time. Unless, of course, that ticket is a driver's 76th. Valerie Ortiz Sanchez, 31, was arrested Monday during a routine traffic stop when officers discovered she had 76 outstanding traffic warrants and nearly $19,000 in unpaid fines and court fees dating back nine years.

AP - A judge says a retired 500-pound police officer cannot increase his pension check by blaming his disability on an accident when a medical board "rationally" found it was related to his obesity.

AP - Brian and Ross DeVol are a perfect match, genetically and academically: The identical twins earned perfect ACT scores. The seniors at suburban Bellevue East High School both scored 36 on the college entrance exam, though Ross DeVol needed three tries. One of his earlier tries netted a 35.

AP - A Swedish bomb squad called out to disarm a suspicious package on Wednesday did not find a ticking bomb. But they did find a vibrating sex toy.

AP - A man wearing only his underwear and brandishing an ax handle chased a burglar out of his home and down his driveway before thinking better of it. "I can't be chasing this guy clear into Silt in my underwear," Jose Sedillo told himself, and went back inside to call 911.

Uruguayan scientists say they have uncovered fossil evidence of the biggest species of rodent ever found, one that scurried across wooded areas of South America about 4 million years ago, when the continent was not connected to North America.

Reuters - Scientists in Uruguay have found the fossil remains of a 2,000 pound rodent that lived 2 million to 4 million years ago -- the largest rodent ever found.

Reuters - A parasitic worm can make its ant victims swell into what looks like a delicious, juicy berry to birds, which apparently eat the ants and help the worm spread and reproduce, U.S. researchers reported on Wednesday.

Subway drivers in Seoul will get toilets in their cabs, after driver dies trying to defecate out of a moving train.  

An FBI surveillance operation was shut down after telephone companies cut its lines for the agency failing to pay its bills.   

VIENNA, Austria -- A chimpanzee cannot be declared a person, Austria's Supreme Court has ruled, activists said Tuesday. An animal rights group had sought to have the chimp, Matthew Hiasl Pan, declared a person in hopes of gaining guardianship of the animal.

VIENNA, Austria -- A chimpanzee cannot be declared a person, Austria's Supreme Court has ruled, activists said Tuesday. An animal rights group had sought to have the chimp, Matthew Hiasl Pan, declared a person in hopes of gaining guardianship of the animal.

Reuters - Bank cashiers and others working with large quantities of paper currency are vulnerable to catching various types of flu from the germs living on notes, a Swiss researcher said on Wednesday.

Things are heating up in Wisconsin

Decorating a trailer hitch with a large pair of rubber testicles might be a bit much in Virginia

A man was arrested for walking on a highway with a 14-foot python wrapped around his body

A man accidentally shot himself in the groin as he was robbing a store

A demonstrator releases half a million coloured plastic balls in an unusual protest at the Spanish Steps in Rome.